Your Stories

As an F1, I was made to walk towards the nursing station and back again, I wasn’t sure why. After the walk, the Consultant asked me, “out of 10 what do you think of that Physios (might have been a nurse) arse?” I hesitated, take a look at what I realised was what he wanted me to look at and uncomfortably answered “maybe a 7 or 8”. I realise, thinking back that it was really unacceptable despite finding it more peculiar than threatening, being young and impressionable. It is potentially more unacceptable because it was also acting as a test of my sexuality, considering this Consultant went on to ask indirect questions to my housemate (fellow FY1) whilst oncall together, about me, which would help confirm, I assume, his suspicions about me being gay. To which she replied why don’t you ask him yourself?! I was only out for a couple of years by this point and a little more guarded about it all. He also took my phone off me and briefly went through my messages (or pictures I cannot remember) in front of the team, which actually made my housemate more uncomfortable than myself.

One year during my Educational Supervisor meeting, they asked me: “When are you going to fit your exams in? Before or after you have children?” There had never been any previous conversations about my intentions regarding having, or not having a family.

In medical school all the girls would be told to stay away from this one cardiology consultant who did a lot of teaching. Unfortunately the med school arranged for us to shadow in groups on the cardiology wards and he often got assigned groups of med students to take on ward rounds. I realised what the older students meant during one of his ward rounds when he kept staring at our breasts during the round. He would ask a question then his eyes would go straight down to your chest and stay there while you answered the question. It would happen repeatedly during every ward round and we would give a supportive smile or quick “you ok?” to each other as we moved around the ward when his back was turned.

At a surgical conference there was a dinner in the evening and plenty of alcohol being splashed around. It was a hive of drunk male surgeons, leering over the female attendees. At my table there were 3 male SHOs all boasting about their recent surgical endeavours. They were appalled to see two female FY2s (me and my friend) interested in surgery at my table, repeatedly asking why we wanted to be surgeons and “aren’t you all going to leave when you get knocked up”. They described one of the very successful female surgical consultants as an “effing spinster” and “a monster”. Later on at the bar one of the surgical consultants at my hospital came up to me commenting how nice I looked and asked if I wanted a drink. Whilst he did that he ran his hand along my waist and down across my buttocks. I froze panicking but fortunately someone else came over to him and I managed to duck out. I escaped back to my hotel wondering how on earth he could behave like that with a partner and two young children at home, at work he always seemed so nice wandering around showing us all photos of his kids. When I got home from the conference there were texts flying around with gossip from the night before. One of male consultants had drunkenly shown up at a female SHO’s room propositioning her. The SHO and her friend yelled at the consultant and threatened to call his wife and he quickly ran off. All I remember is feeling so shocked about everything I’d witnessed, calling my parents, and thinking is this really the career I want to go in to.

After being offered a GP partnership, I attended a meeting where the male partners began to dictate the terms of my partnership. When I voiced concern that I couldn’t work a particular day, which they already knew about, due to childcare commitments, I was told I had to chose between work and family. What ensued was a interrogation of my personal life by my male colleagues, telling me what to do about my childcare, and asking me to get my husband to change his job! I chose my family over work after clearly realising they weren’t going to be flexible, or listen to me at all and that wasn’t ‘partnership’ to me. They told me I wasn’t cut out to be a partner because of my children. No regrets here, but once again an illustration of misogyny at large in the NHS.

Mid consultation with a male patient he told me that I could lose weight if I ate more salad. He also told me that I looked really good and thinner when I wore a dress. I have not worn a dress to work since this conversation.

A patient threatened to follow me to the car and rape me then kill my family. When I raised this to a female senior she said “oh he’s drunk, just ignore him, you’re over reacting.” My male consultant said it wasn’t worth raising a datix about and the patient was well know for his difficult behaviour. I had nightmares for weeks and still hate walking out to my car alone after a late shift. I look back on this as a female consultant now and am horrified at the advice I was given. Threats of sexual violence should not be accepted behaviour. I would never leave my juniors in a room with a patient like that, or allow alcohol as an excuse.