Your Stories

Here we share your stories of sexism, sexual harassment and sexual assault in healthcare. Every story is a powerful testimony, describing lived experiences and the impact of sexual violence.

Thank you to every person who has shared their story with us.

Content warnings

These stories contain descriptions of sexism, sexual harassment, and sexual violence.

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All Stories — Page 12 of 16

067

I’m tired of seeing men respond to people’s stories on here telling us to report the issue, do a Datix, go to HR etc. Anytime I have reported an issue of workplace sexual harassment in the past, I have been laughed at at best, or had my career adversely effected, or at worse have feared for my physical safety.

We didn’t question why actresses didn’t go to their unions about Weinstein. Why do people think it’s any different in healthcare?

066

A patient threatened to rape me. My (male) manager laughed and said “well what do we expect, bringing a beautiful woman on the ward?”.

065

Went to request a scan as a CT1. Consultant radiologist closed the door behind me and began to kiss me. Subsequently when he came to theatre for an interventional procedure sat next to me in the coffee room with his hand on my leg.

064

I work as a senior pharmacist in a mental health hospital and have so many stories. Consultant psychiatrist who I just met told me I had ‘arresting eyes’, a worker in the Trust MHA (mental health act) office who kept messaging me on Facebook asking me out, telling me I’m his queen despite the fact he had a wife and child on the way. Another who always commented on my lips and how good they looked. (I like wearing bright lipsticks). An IT worker who told me I was very tasty from behind as I was bending down and then proceeded to sexually harass me for months (he was at least 30 years older than me), staring, touching me, constantly hanging around. I complained to my manager who had a quiet word. Didn’t stop him at all. I just gave up in the end. Everyone in the department thought it was funny. He left eventually and then emailed me asking me to meet him.

063

During my nurse training I was doing a night shift on an elderly care ward. I was doing a gentleman’s 2am obs and he gestured for me to come closer, when I did he put his hands between my legs and grabbed me. I told him it was inappropriate and to stop, when I found the ward manager she informed me females weren’t supposed to be around him alone. This had never been handed over to me, I datixed the incident and never heard a thing back.

I also applied for an orthopaedic scrub role and was told by the manager I’d fit right in and the surgeons would love me because I’m blonde and pretty. I don’t want a job because I’m blonde and pretty, I want a job because it’s taken me years to train to this level and I’m bloody good at it!

062

I was a new FY1 and struggling a bit on my first medical placement with a lack of confidence and feeling overwhelmed at times on my busy ward. I had spent an evening shift clerking and the on call consultant said he was very pleased with my work and would pass on the feedback to my educational supervisor. My supervisor came up to me on the ward the next day and in front of the team said “Dr X told me he was impressed with your work clerking last night – he probably fancies you.”

061

As someone with naturally tanned-coloured skin I’m constantly told by three particular consultants that I’d “look better in a bikini”. Registrars have also offered the code for the on call rooms if I “need anywhere to spend my break”.

One even told me he’d “like to bend me over a washing machine like a common goat”, and that he offered “bleeps for blowjobs” (referring to paging system).

This is in addition to frequent groping and unwanted comments from patients, including a patient who pulled out his suppository and stuck it in my nose whilst I was emptying his catheter. The patient then shouted out “look, I fixed her blocked nose” so the whole ward could hear. Everyone just said it was a funny joke and didn’t care about how violated I felt.

060

I am not a doctor but recently I undertook a placement in an NHS hospital department. One afternoon while sitting in with a male consultant and a male nurse I heard them refer to another (female) consultant as Frigid Brigid. They both seemed to think they were very funny.

059

One of my junior doctor colleagues chose to never talk to me in a normal way. He constantly commented how beautiful I looked and how I wouldn’t react to any comments. I told him several times that I am not interested and would prefer to have a normal conversation with him. He never stopped, it was 15 years ago. I would now warn him that this is harassment. It made me feel uncomfortable and belittled. He enjoyed it and was known as the cheeky one who gets away with it.

058

I never thought sexism at work was an issue until a male colleague opened my eyes to the existence of inequality and sexism. Ironically, a few minutes later he rubbed my back tried to sleep with me but that’s another story. Here are my experiences:

  • as an F2 on call I received a very odd bleep from my registrar who wasn’t on call and was at home. He was asking me bizarre things about a patient before saying “let’s go for dinner”. As an Fy2 it’s hard to know how to react especially as there’s a power imbalance.
  • again, as an fy2, I knew a colleague was sleeping with a senior. I was on call with him when she called and he described what I was wearing and how good I looked. I felt uncomfortable and disgusted and worried how my colleague-a friend-would feel.
  • I got a choice of two jobs part way through my training. I emailed a TPD to get some advice as couldn’t decide which to do. I got a reply “growing up is hard to do”. Well, they didn’t know how old I was, what I’d been through (not much incidentally) and I felt this was irrelevant.
  • I was told as a female with children I shouldn’t work on certain units and to work in “Unit x or y as the people there have children so will understand”. I’d never mentioned how my child would fit in to my career and I worked full time so not sure where this came from. This was in a meeting with a man with children who worked on a certain unit. Clearly men with children are allowed! As an extra issue, the unit where people did have kids weren’t always understanding either.
  • my pregnancy was described as an illness (?!)
  • I was told that another female colleague probably wouldn’t join my speciality as she has children…like that should matter and also, they clearly assumed I didn’t want children.

057

Being asked about my sex life by (male) cardiothoracic consultant whilst assisting a valve replacement when I was F2.

Being told by (female) general surgical consultant that some of my achievements were only because men were trying to “get with” me.

Countless wandering hands.

Having my personality/attitude/behaviour described as stroppy/bossy/aggressive when same things are described as assertive/focussed/organised etc in males.

When I reviewed a medical patient as ortho SpR the medical F1 then phoned my consultant to check my management plan because he “hadn’t met a female ortho reg before.”

056

In the COVID19 pandemic I was allocated to a new role and team. I was upset to find that my new senior would be a consultant who had sexual harassed me during my foundation years, but I thought that given that we were in the middle of a pandemic he might not repeat the behaviour. On our second day we were sat having lunch and he wanted to show me his new Ultrasound pen – to demonstrate how the device could stream images to your phone. Once I was holding it he moved my hand and told me I should be holding it like a sex toy instead. I didn’t challenge him as we’d be returning to the acute ward after lunch. On talking to another female senior, I was informed that he was known for this behaviour, that he’d got away with so much before and he was capable of ruining careers.

055

In my F1 year I worked on general surgery, which was particularly bad for sexual harassment. My consultants would comment on what you could see through my shirt (if it was a thin blouse) and would ask me to go ‘flirt with the booking staff’ to get scans for patients. One particular consultant would always say sexual things on ward rounds. When we would go to the ward to get the patient notes, he’d make repeat comments about wanting to ‘take me in through the back door’. After this happened repeatedly on different ward rounds and different days (with him and his colleague sniggering), it was clear that they meant anal sex.

054

I was an FY1 and was in my first medical job. I was doing a taster week in the speciality I wanted to do, and I got told by one of the senior members of that speciality that the reason why the NHS is failing is because of female doctors. Because apparently we all want to go part time and the NHS can’t cope. Not only is >50% of the ENTIRE hospital work force female, but this was very presumptive that all females want to go part time, and that this has any impact on work productivity.

053

On the intensive care ward round. Female consultant and me (the advanced trainee) running the ward round. Male charge nurse said loudly in ear shot when we were discussing a particular case with the team “what a pair of jumped up pieces of skirt”.