Your Stories

I work with a near-retirement-age male surgeon who is mildly flirtatious. I normally just ignore his remarks.

One day he offered me a plum in the surgical coffee room in theatres. He said they were from his own garden. When one of his male surgical colleagues came into the room the surgeon said “*victims name* is enjoying my juicy plums”.

I felt quite uncomfortable but the problem with sexual innuendo is that it’s usually deniable and the blame/shame is put on the complainant for misinterpreting what was said.

When I expressed an interest in applying for surgical training, a consultant sat down and drew me a graph of “the number of my eggs decreasing as I get older and through training” to try and put me off.

Throughout my surgical training I received many comments about my breasts. As a skinny person with big breasts naturally I couldn’t do anything about them. I certainly couldn’t hide them and would wear big tops to avoid attention but it never worked . I got referred to as the “big boobied trainee” by consultants, had consultants look down my scrub top because of course there were never small tops available. My boobs were often touched in theatre under the guise of needing to get access to the patient yet the hand would linger.

I was pulled up by the consultant when I said I didn’t like his behaviour and this lead to him not completing my ARCP outcome. Without my other consultant’s support I would have dropped out. I had many consultants ask if I would be better to do a more family-friendly job and eventually I did as I was told I needed to point my elbows more.

Looking back as an older adult they just wanted to keep the men there. I regret never reporting my consultant. But today I declare it and will never feel shame.

More recently I’ve had male consultants come into our offices and demanding female staff to make teas. Make comments about weight and appearance. Dropping dirty scrubs on staffroom floors & hoping one of us might then sort it. Expecting us to clean around after them like a servant, rather than someone prepping and assisting with treatment and procedure. Demanding objects that are within arms reach. There’s very much a god complex with a lot of consultants, and there’s embedded classism as well as sexism within the NHS.

1950s Carry On uniforms all throughout the heatwaves this year, for nurses and HCAs (the ones normally working in wards without any working air conditioning). Doctors and office sector staff were allowed to wear what they liked. We weren’t even allowed to wear scrubs. Only given the option of being able to remove our tights on hotter days (we have to wear them with our dresses the rest of the year).

I was told by a member of staff that they could “see what I’d had for breakfast” on one of those days, commenting on a dress which was only slightly above knee length.

Strict rules regarding tattoos and hair colour, and other methods of controlling appearance that has nothing to do with infection control, and particularly affects women.

As an F1 working in the urology department there was a consultant who frequently used to ask me inappropriate questions such as whether I had a boyfriend or commenting that I should go out with one of the older male registrars.

On one occasion in the doctors’ office he was sitting next to me whilst looking at imaging results on the computer and placed his hand on my thigh. I froze and felt so shocked I didn’t know what to say or how to react.

On another occasion the same consultant took every opportunity to ridicule and belittle me on the ward round in front of the team and the patients, questioning my every decision or judgement. The other male doctors on the ward round said nothing and appeared amused at times. I could see the medical students with us looked shocked.

Eventually after what felt like a sustained effort to humiliate me I walked away because I didn’t want to cry in front of him. He followed me into the doctors’ office and when I tried to leave he physically barred me from doing so by placing his arm across my chest.

This man caused me significant distress. He continues to work in that department and I wish I had reported him at the time but I was so young and inexperienced, and felt afraid of not being taken seriously.

I’ve worked in elderly care since I was 17, in which I was a sleep over carer for an elderly gentleman who paid privately. He continuously harassed me, stood over me while I slept doing god knows what, touched me constantly, made inappropriate comments, I heard him masturbating and saying my name every night and eventually called me in and exposed himself to me. I reported him almost daily but I couldn’t leave the job as I needed the money and my management refused to take me off those shifts. My experiences were swept under the carpet and never dealt with, the most that he would get was a phone call which he would rarely answer. I continued to work in elderly care for two years in which I was harassed, touched and inappropriately treated by men almost every male call but my management basically told me “you’re a young girl and these are frustrated men what did you expect?” and also told me it was my own fault for my tunic being so “form fitting.” Then when I was 19 I began working in mental health care, in which basically the same things happened. It’s just depressing to know that men even though they may have dementia, schizophrenia they still remember to treat women like this.

When I first joined the ambulance service I had an intensive three week course on emergency blue light driving. The instructor was a paramedic male who was married with kids, twice my age. From the start he made it clear it was down to him to fail or pass any of us and made lewd comments to the other male instructor about woman’s bodies, previous sexual conquests, how he cheated on his wife etc. He made it clear that anyone who couldn’t accept banter would not pass his course or fit in with the service. He began texting me in the evenings and asking to meet up or for sexy photos. I felt really uncomfortable and wanted to report him but I also wanted to pass. It was the longest 3 weeks ever, but thankfully I did pass without having to give him any photos or sexual favours. A few months later, I was on supervised practice as a paramedic student and my mentor was a senior male supervisor. We were checking our vehicle & drugs at the start of our shift when he forced himself on me, kissing me on the mouth but I refused to open mine and pushed him back, off of me. He said I needed to learn to be nicer if I wanted to pass and that he expected a better welcome at the start & end of each shift. I suffered several weeks of sexual comments and innuendo before moving to a different station & having a lovely new mentor. I’ve felt it difficult to report this because obviously you want to succeed in your career & these men have been with the service for decades and are in senior positions. Misogyny is still rife among the older males in the service but thankfully the younger generation are making things better, albeit it slowly.