Your Stories
Here we share your stories of sexism, sexual harassment and sexual assault in healthcare. Every story is a powerful testimony, describing lived experiences and the impact of sexual violence.
Thank you to every person who has shared their story with us.
Content warnings
These stories contain descriptions of sexism, sexual harassment, and sexual violence.
All Stories — Page 6 of 16
162
My story is an old story that I have been reminded off, as a student nurse on placement in theatres in the late eighties the consultant who had just performed the surgery I was there to observe took me by the waist bent me over and smacked my bottom in front of all the theatre staff. Not one person mentioned it to me or said anything at the time or afterwards, I was mortified and my cheeks were burning under my mask. Years later I discovered it was considered normal for him it was never discussed just accepted.
161
I started my last placement of 1st year in mental health nursing on a ward. On my second day, I was shadowing an HCA. He was a helpful and first and I was learning. He then started making sexual comments towards me. As the day went on things got worse and worse. On multiple occasions he trapped me in store rooms and touched my groin area. On our second break, I told him I was getting something to eat, got my bag, and ran off the ward as fast as I could, I couldn’t take it anymore.
160
I became aware of sexism in surgery when I ran a webinar on bullying and undermining for muslim women in the NHS. Many female doctors and medical students reported being hounded out of theatre because they wear hijab and being denied training opportunities.
Daily harassment with expectations of differing dress codes sometimes in theatres within the SAME trust. A lack of suitable accommodations which was leading to women across the UK choosing primary care over careers in surgery.
We don’t have a problem providing orthopaedic hoods to a largely male workforce yet providing hijabs appears to be problematic and rare.
We published national research in the BMJ Open to highlight the magnitude of the issue and whilst the BMA were very supportive many national organisations did little to address the problem.
I still get rung by women who are off sick with anxiety and depression due to gendered islamophobia in the workplace.
It’s just not good enough- the NHS must do more to retain highly skilled diverse women in surgical careers. The solutions are simple (such as surgical hijabs) and other sectors such as law and sports industry have adopted diverse dress codes. The NHS must adopt a national procurement process that includes diverse dress codes.
For more information on our work and solutions go to the British Islamic Medical Association website (opens in a new tab/window).
159
A patient had been released from prison 1 and a half hours previously.
Came in as a priority call into resus. Patient was intoxicated and unresponsive due to opiate activity. Patient had naloxone given by myself. I’m an Emergency nurse and was assigned to look after the patient. After the naloxone, the patient became more aware, GCS 15/15.
The patient groped my bottom and straddled himself against it. The patient also exposed themselves. The patient then punched me in the abdomen and grabbed and groped my left breast.
I felt dirty and violated.
I saw this through all the way to the end, the patient received a 24 week sentence for sexual assault, 24 weeks for physical assault and 4 weeks for aggravated indecent exposure.
Of course this was suspended for two years. I received no help from the legal team (did not know that they existed).
Today another sexual assault occurred, so I have to go through this all again now.
158
In response to the report of a sexual harassment incident perpetrated by a Staff Nurse (male) against a colleague (female), the ward manager failed to act immediately.
When HR were informed, the incident was renamed as misconduct (any reference to sexual harassment was discouraged by HR and managers).
Furthermore, the victim (female) was subjected to being questioned by a senior clinical practitioner (female) assigned by HR, who (off the interview record) asked the victim what they had been wearing at the time they were sexually harassed.
The final response was to blame the victim – citing their clothing as being inappropriate. The incident was escalated to ward managers, HR managers and even the executive board, but was ultimately brushed under the carpet by blaming the victim for dressing inappropriately.
This was subsequently reported to NHS whistleblowers and NHS Quality Care Commission.
157
When I started work in the NHS I was a young, single woman living alone. Our consultant in charge offered to meet with me to go over some training issues and other nurses at the clinic encouraged me to go, saying the consultant was fun to have a drink with. I went reluctantly.
The consultant, who was married with children, asked me about my preferences in boyfriends which I thought was strange. After dinner he insisted on driving me home and coming into my house to continue our discussions about training.
While pretending to reach for a paper on my lap, he touched me inappropriately and I told him it was late and time for him to leave. At my door he tried to kiss me. I told some of my colleagues about this but they laughed, they said they had been out socially with him and he hadn’t tried that with them.
He later asked me to attend a conference abroad with him, when I asked in what professional capacity he said as his companion and as part of my training. I told him I didn’t think that would be appropriate. A week later one evening around 10pm he turned up at my house, drunk. I sent him home before saying that in future if he wanted to talk to me about training or my career it should be in work time.
My colleagues berated me for letting a drunk colleague drive. I sought advice and was told not to make a formal complaint, because as he was a consultant I would not be believed and the complaint would follow me throughout my career and I would be considered a ‘difficult’ employee.
After the drunk incident, the consultant refused to talk to me and would block me seeing patients. I got a job in another Trust. He carried on working there until years later he was suspended for misconduct.
156
Whilst working as an FY1 doctor across the general surgical wards, I found that polite requests (originating from the consultants, all of whom were male) that I delivered to allied healthcare professionals following ward round, e.g. requests for bloods/catheters, were commonly ignored. Following a discussion with my female colleagues, we noticed that asking our male peers to make the exact same request often resulted in them being completed. We wondered whether this was due to differences in communication skills or due to underlying sexism. Due to the general atmosphere that pervaded the team, we did not raise our concerns as we felt that we would be laughed off, I regret that we did not take more responsibility for further investigating this situation.
155
I’m lucky. If and when inappropriate physical contact happens, I do not get struck with fear. The crossing of such a clear boundary fires up a warrior in me that can stop it in its tracks, right then, in the moment. However, I know this isn’t the same for everyone, and this is why I’m writing this…
When I was an foundation Doctor a surgical consultant touched me twice on an afternoon ward round. It was just me and him ‘checking in’ on his patients, with no other witnesses.
He placed his hand on my lower back, and rubbed it ever so slightly from side to side. The first time I shot him a fierce look, the second time it happened I called it out -right then and there with a clear ‘there is no need to touch me’. He smirked and slithered off.
I felt, at the time proud that I had dealt with this in the moment. However, looking back, I’m not sure I knew how to escalate this. In retrospect I feel guilty for not handling this enconter differently. What if this happens to another staff member who isn’t able to shoot it down?
I also share this story in the hope of inspiring change. I have been working in my health board for many years and cannot recall any training in the support and reporting structures that exist to deal with sexual misconduct in the workplace. I hope campains such as surviving in scrubs will change this on a national level.
Although this incident was minor versus the stories of others, unwanted physical contact isn’t ok, and we should do what we can to stamp it out.
154
As a trainee, when operating. I lost count of the number of times my surgical male colleagues would accidentally touch my breasts and apologise. It happened so often I assumed it was because that just happened all the time and that my body was just getting in the way. I’ve been a consultant 5 years, we have loads of female trainees and I’ve never ever accidentally touched their breasts. It doesn’t happen.
153
I feel belittled by my practice educator, who regularly makes derogatory comments about women and their colleagues don’t see it because they are so used to it. Being a student I just have to keep my head down because if I raise anything, I then become the problem.
152
I was working in an administrative role which included the inspection of large equipment deliveries. The culture at the time was smart office wear which wasn’t practical for some of the work undertaken. It was common for several male colleagues from other departments including senior roles to watch as these inspections took place, visibility commenting and laughing at the positions needed to be held in order to thoroughly inspect the equipment. The humiliation and objectification continued until those colleagues left the organisation and was never addressed despite being raised.
151
There is so much sexism in the HART team and I would imagine it’s the same problem everywhere. Hyper masculinity thrives and unfortunately women are treated like objects of desire. Male colleagues regularly talk about women inappropriately. It’s all masked by the ‘heroes’ that the HART team are. I could never raise this at work without being the problem myself.
150
Heard derogatory comments being made when people thought I couldn’t hear. Comments being made by management about not having children, colleagues not treating me the same as others, people would rather avoid you than talk, colleagues saying “as long as he doesn’t come anywhere near me”. The list goes on ….
149
After a difficult forceps delivery done by the consultant, and assisted by me, the consultant’s scrubs were covered in blood. Consultant – “I will go to take a shower- I don’t like it alone, would you like to come with me ? ”
The midwives, who were seeing all this just said to him – “You are so naughty! “.
148
During the pandemic a consultant orthopod insisted that we go for coffee together after the ward round. I already felt uncomfortable around him and declined his offer, stating that I wanted to get started on the ward jobs. He followed me to the doctors room. He then began to tell me, with no invitation, that because of COVID Pornhub was offering a free premium subscriptions and asked for my opinion on this subject.