Your Stories

During an exit interview with 2 senior staff and another foundation trainee the conversation turned to what we would be doing next. I said that I was keen to explore research and asked for any insight or advice. Neither of the staff had any insight and the most senior suggested that I shouldn’t worry as females tended to work pt in general practice and raise children with the other half.

Years later, and after several years of PG training, I met with a surgeon who I thought could be a potential research supervisor during my MSc. After giving me the up and down look we proceeded to have a conversation that involved the following questions: was I single, what was my living situation, what age was I, could I afford to do a PhD… being 31 at the time he suggested that even though I was currently a “free bird” I might not be a good candidate, despite having no insight into my previous qualifications.

I worked at a hospital. During the induction address the person giving the address suggested that there were many places to have sex in the hospital. That was an unwanted joke. That was sexual harassment. On returning to my work station a work colleague who I had previously not even noticed flirted with me. Which was a direct result of the suggestive comments made in the induction. There was no one to tell.

In my first year of medical school a student I knew held me down after a night out and attempted to rape me but was interrupted by another flat mate who pulled him off me. The attitude of both of them was we’d all been drinking and I shouldn’t have gone back to their flat so it was best not to say anything more.

The next year I was living in a mixed house share. One evening I was asleep in bed and woke to hear 2 house mates come home with another 2 medical students. They were talking loudly and I heard one of them say “go up and see”. One of them came up the stairs, walked into my bedroom and took his clothes off before climbing into bed with me. I froze and pretended to be sleep but despite this he pressed his penis into my bottom and started rubbing himself against me whilst touching my breasts. He eventually got up and went back downstairs where they all started laughing.

When I was 20 I went to a gynae clinic with dysmenorrhoea and saw a male gynae Spr. Following a speculum examination he raped me with his hand bunched in a fist. There was a nurse observing and she just turned away. When he’d finished he held his hand up to me to show me that I was bleeding and told me “look what you made me do”. The nurse went and got a sanitary pad for me to wear to go home. It was painful sitting for the rest of the day. I told a friend who told me it wasn’t ’real rape’ and told me to forget about it. I reported it to the trust a year later who promised to investigate but their response was that he had used a poor examination technique and had now moved to another trust so could not be contacted. The nurse apparently said she was not aware of anything having been wrong whilst she was chaperone.

During my clinical skills training I was in a break out group of 6 students practising female pelvic examinations on mannequins. There were 4 men in the group and throughout the session they proceeded to talk about what sexual acts they would do if it was a real person. At the point where one student fisted the model I walked out of the room. I reported the incident to our clinical tutor (and disclosed my experience in the gynae clinic to her) but this didn’t lead to any discussion with us as a group of medical students about what was appropriate behaviour.

These all happened over 20 years ago and I can picture them like they were yesterday.

The words “she needs a sh*g” said about me in front of everyone after a professional disagreement with a more senior male nurse, even worse it was said in front of other senior nursing staff who all put their heads down. Biggest regret of my life not reporting it, I was newly qualified at the time. I still think about it filled with anger.

I no longer work in this place.

The on call cardiology consultant has historically been called the COW in my Trust and the neighbouring one that is linked at board level. After nurses and other members of staff expressed unease about using this term when I was on call ( COW is an offensive term when applied to women rather than men) I tried to get it changed to something more suitable. At the time I was the only female cardiology consultant out of 7 in my Trust and 22 in the sister Trust. I asked my clinical lead to change this but it wasn’t changed. In 2021 I suffered direct discrimination at work and met managers where I also raised the issue of the COW acronym. The freedom to speak up guardian and chief people officer were also aware of my concern that the COW acronym was a clear form of sex discrimination. Partial change was made but the term remained in used daily since then. I have raised the issue again in 2023. This time my concerns seem to have coincided in a leadership role being taken from me. The cardiology GIRFT report uses the COW acronym in it to encourage Trusts to have a weekly rather than daily on call rota and this fact has been used as a reason not to change the COW acronym. The COW acronym remains in place in the sister Trust. EASS and ACAS have confirmed that it causes indirect sex discrimination and its presence in a report does not prevent it from needing to be removed. I’ve not had any apology from the Trust for the discrimination I have been suffering esp since 2021. No comment has been made about the underlying misogyny and sexist attitudes that need to be present within the department in order for the above events to have occurred. This is a clear provable and easily fixed case of sex discrimination that even 2 years after officially raising it with managers isn’t sorted and is ongoing evidence of widespread ingrained male arrogance and misogyny in conjunction with a managerial workforce who seem unable to stand up to them.

A doctor senior to me asked me for sex despite being aware I was in a long term relationship. He then put pressure on me to keep this a secret, denied any wrongdoing and became increasingly angry until I changed my phone number so that he couldn’t contact me any more.

I was an F1 in A&E. I once referred a patient to ortho and I got chatting with the SHO because I wanted to specialise in orthopaedics. He said if I gave him my number he would be in touch to try and arrange a taster day for me or something like that. So I gave him my number and he started to send me inappropriate messages saying things like “the night shift would be more fun if you were here because I bet you have more skills than just putting in cannulas”. I told him I was in a relationship. I should have shut him down more assertively but I didn’t want to seem rude and also I wanted the orthopaedic taster day he had promised. He then sent me a picture of him in just his boxers. I didn’t report him because I thought I’d led him on a bit.

I was stressed during F1 because of a more senior doctor I worked with. He was very charming and supportive at first and we became friends but then it became apparent that he could also be very controlling. He became unreasonably angry if I mentioned to people that he and I talked outside of work, which I found weird. Looking back I think it suggests he knew that something was wrong with his behaviour. I asked not to work with him any more. A female consultant made me go into her office and wouldn’t let me leave until I told her why I was sad. I told her that I didn’t want to work with this SHO any more and she totally sided with him, saying “If you want to be a woman in surgery you need to be more emotionally robust than this because he’s a perfect gentleman and you’ll meet worse people than him in your career”. Nothing physical ever happened but months later he told me he “just thought of me as a sex doll”. He was very much not a perfect gentleman and I have no real idea why the female consultant was protecting him.